SNOW DAYS!!!

SNOW DAY!!! Growing up in NYC we had one snow day the whole time I was in school, we also had a hurricane day but I digress. When ever it would snow I would watch the morning weather feeling that this time NYC schools would be off. But as I would watch the scroll at the bottom of the screen I would be faced with the reality that it was not to be.
I had to wait till my junior yr in high school for the blessed snow day and it was fabulous. I went sledding in Central Park with my friends, drank hot chocolate, had a blast.
Now I'm married to a teacher so when it snows I am giddy with excitement watching the weather report. The anticipation of a snow day makes me feel like a kid again but this time instead of watching in vein the schools actually close. Peter gets excited when he has off but I really go a little nuts. I hope Jonah has snow days growing up. Its really an important thing in a kids life.

I am almost done with the inventory of our moldy stuff. Just a quarter of a closet and half the kitchen left to do! Thank goodness. It really seemed like an insurmountable task when I started but now I see the end and I am grateful.

I can't believe its almost Christmas and pretty soon I will be knee deep in chex mix and rice crispy treats. Jonah's first Christmas, his Aunt and Uncle bought him the cutest santa outfit to wear. We aren't going to push the whole Santa thing on him, opting instead to teach about the spirit of Christmas but the outfit is really adorable and I think he's going to wear it anyway.
Does that make me a hypocrite?
I think I'll make some hot chocolate and reflect on my contradictory ways.

Baby I can drive a car!

I've had my license for a little over a month now and I have to admit it totally rocks! I love being able to drive. Before I had it people would tell me the sense of freedom that I would feel once I got it. How I would feel like I could just get in the car and drive forever going where the wind takes me.
Now I love driving but the whole sense of freedom thing isn't really happening. I mean going to walmart or the grocery store with Jonah in the back seat is about as wild as it gets but hey at least I get to go ALL BY MYSELF!!! with Jonah..............

But today TODAY something happened. I was in the car with the J man cooing in the back and sarah mclaughlin's "I will Remember You" came on the radio. I turned it up, then louder, louder, next thing I know I am singing at the top of my lungs along to the radio rocking out driving down rt 40 and having a super great time. I felt free!!!!!!!

The song ended just as I pulled into the walmart parking lot, back to reality...................but for one song I WAS FREE DRIVING IN MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cross Your Fingers

Hope Hope Hopefully we will agree to take the house today. I think its going to work out. We may be looking at trees and water by the new yr. It makes me a little giddy to think about.

Jonah's word count is now up to 3:
Moma
Dada
Millllll (he's saying Milk in Jonah speak and saying he wants to nurse)

I love that he says Milllll when he wants to nurse. Communicating with him verbally brings me such joy. I have to say that I did think he would sign milk before saying it since Peter and I have been signing to him since birth. But hey he is telling me what he wants and I am able to provide it to him and that makes me happy.

Other things that make me happy:
My husband
The prospect of living in a house from 1901 with a view of the water
The hope that I may actually be able to break out my sewing machine in the new house
Jonah's smile when I strap him into the ergo to make dinner

No resolution yet on the mold front. While the idea of having to get rid of almost everything we own is extremely upsetting its also rather liberating. We have too much stuff and while we have a yearly purging its never enough. Now we are forced to down size and the hard choices are being forced upon us which apparently we need. So thanks for the help universe!

home?

Found a house we love. Found a house that we could fill with love. Found a house found a house found a house but is it going to be our home? That is the question.
Many things would have to happen, be let out of our lease, come to some sort of settlement regarding all our moldy stuff, figure out all the other things that will inevitably come up as time progresses.

I would be the care taker of a weekend rental property attached to the house (if we get it). Haven't worked in 2 yrs, outside of the home that is. Worked my but off inside of the home. it would feel great to work again and its a job that where I can take J0nah with me which is the only type I would take.
If only some one would pay me to bake. One day I will have my bakery, one day.

Staying calm is difficult with all the things to do. Seems overwhelming.

Jonah and I got our H1N1 shot today. He has barely gotten any other vaccines but for some reason I really wanted him to get this one, I'm probably buying into the media hype but am relieved that we got it.

Made peanut noodles for the first time came out pretty good if I say so.

sushi

The reasons I love Sushi:
1. It is the fastest way that I have found to get soy sauce into my mouth
2. It is one of the few things that I can still eat that Jonah isn't allergic to
3. There is always something new to try, it never gets old

Pink Hair bye bye

So I think the pink hair must go. sadly!! I love having multi colored hair, it makes me happy. But with everything that is happening with our lives right now I think that I should go back to all brown, just until things settle down, whenever that is.
Being interviewed for a new place to live, dealing with lawyers etc its probably better to have "normal" hair. I don;t feel like the "full me" with normalcy but the rest of the world hasn't caught up to me yet. Its hard always being ahead of the pack.................

So yesterday one of the best things ever happened!!!!! Jonah said MOMMA!!! he looked at me said momma and crawled over to me for a hug. i melted, full on puddle on the floor. It made all the sleepless night disappear from memory.
Then this morning J looked at peter smiled said Dada and reached out his arms for a hug.
Clearly we have the best baby in the world.

baby toy big deal

have a lead on a furnished house to rent so cross your fingers folks. it supposedly has a view of the water, which in realtor speak most likely means if you crane your neck while standing on a ladder on a clear day you may possibly be able to see some sort of water which may or may not be a puddle.
we'll see how it goes.
baby boy continues to amaze and impress. i was looking at photos last night while working on an xmass project and can't believe how much he's changed in 9 months. he was so tiny and baby bird like. now he is all over the place, into every thing and full of personality.

yesterday we were in walmart (again) and he pulled a toy off the shelf. it was 5 bucks and he refused to let go so i figured better to buy it rather than have a screaming baby in the middle of the toy aisle. the toy happened to be two people billed as a husband and wife, and they are african american. so after more shopping we go to check out and the check out teenager gives me quite a look and asks "miss you want this toy? yes. you're sure, this toy? yes. um you want to buy this toy? yup I want to buy that toy" I thought the guy was going to get on the loud speaker and make an announcement throughout the store.
Have I mentioned that I hate living here in this racist narrow minded environment. J saw a toy that he liked, he wasn't making a political statement, more than likely he was responding to the bright color of their shirts. And believe me I wish he was making a statement. It would make my UWS liberal heart proud. Its a toy, he likes it, enough.

2:30 in the AM

Up since 2:30 in the AM folks, 2:30 AM. I remember when I used to wake up at 2:30 in the afternoon. but life in baby land has its own rules. baby boy has a bad cold, woke up at 2:30 AM and going back to sleep was not on his agenda.
Hubs has a bad cold, baby has a bad cold. hopefully i will not be next.
Made a 9AM run to walmart this morn to get the Hubster some cold meds.
On the up side I drove in the snow for the first time today, snow, its finally arrived.


Chicken soup on the stove, I think I may have finally convinced the babe to take a nap. its time to organize my Christmas present list.

When its written out like this my life doesn't seem that interesting.

MOLD MOLD MOLD.
its so hard to say goodbye to pretty much everything you own but when its all contaminated with toxic mold it becomes a reality. maybe that's why this is happening. too much junk had been acquired and the only way i was going to get rid of it is if I absolutely had to. and now i do.
throwing away birthday cards etc from my grandma, and others that I loved but that are no longer with us is excruciating, i'm just trying to remember that they are just pieces of paper but the sentiments written on that paper is full of love and happy memories, memories that i hoped to share one day with my child when i told him of such folks, now i think it will be harder for him to get to know them and it hurts so much that he will never know them,

A few things we are hoping to get cleaned if we can afford it, but the rest must go.
I am waiting on the professional clothes cleaners to arrive and take away all of that.
Spent the weekend making an itemized list of everything that we own. Thankfully some wonderful people came to help. We didn't finish but are nearly there.
It is hard to face how much STUFF one accumulates when it is written down, I absolutely don't need 64 shirts, there is just no need, and why my husband has 57 pairs of socks I will never know, especially since he always claims that he doesn't have any socks, but I always claim that I have nothing to wear and clearly that is not true.
Counting cds and realizing that I never really listen to most of them, how did i end up with a will smith cd?

I should be looking for a new place for us to live but instead I am searching the Etsy website looking for stuff to decorate the above mentioned place to live, if there ever is one.
Do we take a crazy expensive 3 month lease till we figure stuff out or do we do some moving back in with parents thing to give our selves some breathing room and calm down a sec before we move in somewhere else. the discussions continue.
With all the craziness my baby hasn't napped in 3 days and i am happy to report that he is currently sleeping. i probably just jinxed myself and he will wake up any second but the laundry people are going to arrive soon anyway and I'd have to wake him up to go to the other apt. waking up a sleeping baby is so wrong.
Why he doesn't nap for any one but me i don't know and believe me i wish i could change it but it is what it is. he doesn't even nap when peter is home. only if its just the 2 of us. i guess i'm just not that interesting.

Coffee anyone? what is the term for beyond tired?

There isn't enough coffee in the world to get me through today.
I'm lost, I've mentally checked out, I want to lay down in my closet and hide.

But then my sweet baby boy gives me that amazing smile, laughs his addictive laugh, and reminds me that I have a 24/7 gig and checking out isn't an option and hiding in my closet is a ridiculous notion, besides I could never fit in there with the amount of clothes pouring out of it anyway.

Diapers must be washed..................

My amazing child has started crawling in earnest now. Before it was a few steps here and a few there but now the boy is clear across the room before I can believe it.
And while I'm bragging here my incredible baby crawled over to his potty hit it with his hand twice and started making pooping sounds. I put him on it and he pooped. So you can clearly see that he is brilliant. Elimination Communication works!

My house is turning into romper room. I've made piece with it, hubs not so much. It probably has to do with the fact that I live among toys all day while he goes to work outside.

I loved my hubby saying yesterday while we were in the midst of a big box store that "it was his day off so lets not spend all day in there". It made me realize that I haven't had a day off in 7 1/2 months and I have no expectation of having a day off for the next 18 or so yrs. It was sorta a depressing realization I must admit. Maybe I can get one day off a yr, probably not but a girl can dream can't she?

My day starts at 4:30 AM when baby boy wakes and ends at 8:30 when I finally fall onto the couch and refuse to do anymore work. But then I remember that I have to iron something for my hubs to wear to work tomorrow and then that is the last thing that I do for the day.
I should go directly to bed, do not pass go do not collect $200 but go directly to bed but I feebly attempt to have a conversation with my guy and then it takes every ounce of energy that I have left to pry myself off the couch, brush my teeth and tell myself I'll floss tomorrow and crawl/flop/dive into bed and drift off hoping that 4:30 doesn't come anytime soon but it always comes well before I feel that it should.
4:30 comes earlier and earlier every day.

The leaves are changing colors. I feel like I am changing colors.

wake up!

My sweet baby boy has been waking up at 5:30 all week. My sweet husband and I are fried.
I'm not quite sure why this is taking such a toll. Baby boy woke up every hr or two for a nurse up until 6 weeks ago and I somehow, SOMEHOW managed to survive it. My body it seems has forgotten how to survive on too little sleep. 5:30 is early lets be honest.
So after the little one nursed for a bit he fell back asleep and his parents followed soon after. What seemed like 5 min later I woke up and checked the clock. Hubs had to be at work in 15 min! I wake him up in a rush and tell him the time. He responds that he doesn't like being waken up so hastily and in the future could I please wake him more softly. Sorry but when I'm exhausted and not thinking clearly the wake up is going to be what its going to be. I don't have the brain power to think through everything.

I just saw some one on TV wearing a huge mondo cocktail ring, immediately I said to myself that I WANT ONE. Then I thought, whats the point where am I going to wear it, Walmart?
When we lived in NY i was a creative dresser. I wore jewelry, I loved clothes. Now clothes are just something to cover my body. I don't really care how I look, I just want to be comfortable. I've read other moms say how important it is for your marriage that you dress well after you have a baby, etc. But frankly that is just one more thing that I don't have in me these days. 1. I don't have the time or energy to dress like before, and necklaces are out since my son will just yank on them till they break, 2. I can't fit into my pre-baby clothes and I refuse to buy too many things in my current size for fear of staying this way.

Ice Ice Baby

Sometimes when Jonah gets fussy I sing to him which seems to help. I sing whatever comes to mind, sometimes its the soundtrack to Hair sometimes its a song from my days at camp, I never know what is going to come out of my mouth, (much like when I'm not singing). But today I opened my mouth and Ice Ice Baby came forth. 1. I can't believe that the words to that song (can I even call it that) are still stored in my memory, and 2. I feel like I auditorily assaulted my child by subjecting him to such a tune. He of course loved it and was all laughs and smiles.

Jonah has been trying all week to go from a crawl position to a sitting position. He hasn't been successful yet but he wont quit. Its amazing to see him try and I really could watch him work on it all day. Unfortunately, there are dishes, laundry, vacuuming - I never actually get to this one.

dieting, cleaning, and eating chocolate chip cookies

Is it wrong to be out of breath during the warm up of an exercise video? My baby weight seems to be hanging around and something needs to be done. Why can't eating chocolate chip cookies be a form of exercise. If you do it right it really can be an aerobic work out. Baby boy is almost 7 months old so saying that I "just had a baby and that's why I'm fat" is basically a lie at this point. I guess it was too much to hope that he was going to weigh 35 LBS. What did I expect though. At one point during my pregnancy I roasted a whole chicken just to eat the skin. SO nasty but at the time made perfect sense.

So I'm cleaning my oven today. Got the spray stuff and everything. I've never cleaned an oven in any place I've ever lived. Is that gross? But last night during a chocolate chip cookie baking frenzy (why can't I lose weight again?) the smoke alarm went off thankfully not waking my baby but it did let me know that the pie I baked last week ( diet food right?) may have spilled over onto the bottom of the oven and action had to be taken. So the spray is sprayed and I'm waiting the required 2 hrs. Hopefully that will take care of the prob and I can do my late night baking without fear of waking my sweet child.

2 hrs are up and the oven is .....cleaner. I would have had to put in a lot more elbow grease to get it totally spic and span and frankly I don't have it in me right now. As long as the smoke alarm doesn't go off I'm good. Pot roast for dinner tonight will be the test.

J has figured out that he can crawl to his toy box and take out his own toys instead of playing with what mama thinks looks fun. He's leaving me in the dust.
Last night I was changing him and he was playing with the wipes box. He figured out that if he pressed the button on top the box opened but when he went to close it his hand was in the way. I moved his hand for him to show him how to close it and he gave me such a look and a very displeased grunt basically saying "I want to figure this out for myself!". Then he went back to trying to close it and once again his hand was in the way. He then moved his hand out and closed the box. Very pleased with himself he did it a few more times and then lost interest.
The first time your child says back off is such a special moment.

Alone time

This past Saturday I left my sweet baby alone with his Dad for the first time. I had t0 go to Drivers Ed and before any of you ask yes I am way to old to be going for my license but I'm a city kid and I never got it, lets move on. So my hubs and baby spent 8 hrs together. I wrote out very detailed instructions showed him where everything was, to the point where he was giving me that "I'm not an idiot" look. But hey I was nervous.
So I get to class this guy comes in, puts a video in the VCR and walks out, comes back at 11:30 and says 30 min. lunch, comes back at 12 puts in another video, comes back at 3 and says go home. The videos were from the 80's, one was creeepily hosted my Christopher Reeves. As soon as he walked out of the room at 9 AM I pulled out a magazine, read it cover to cover. When finished with that I began my book. AND READ THE WHOLE THING. The last time I curled up and read an entire book was - well before my son was born. I actually finished my book with 9 min left to go in class, it was a long 9 min. But I used the time to text with my friends about how I just read a book with out being interrupted.
Now yes it was a mom magazine and yes it was a humor book on being a mom but i had 8 hrs of alone time and I loved it. Don't get me wrong, I missed my baby like crazy, my husband actually had to send me 2 pictures of him while I was gone just so I could see that he was ok, my boobs were swollen and painfully bursting with milk. But those 8 hrs were well worth the $35 that I had to pay for the class. And now I get to take my driving test. If only I can get better at parallel parking I may actually get to go to the grocery store all my myself, with the baby.

Beginnings

baby crying. please baby take a nap.
i need a shower, but if i take one will the noise keep him up if i wait to take one till he falls asleep will the sound wake him up. or do i as i have many days before not shower but is that cruel punishment for my sweet baby boy. i need a shower.
i need a brownie, make that 5 brownies. oh please darling child take a nap.
you rub your eyes, you yawn but alas, you refuse to go to sleep. am i the worst parent ever for letting you cry for 15 min praying all the while that you will drift off to slumber land.
slumber land, that should be a game, who needs candy land, i need slumber land,
wait i don't hear anything, did he fall asleep, is it possible
what is that, OMG is that the lawn mower next door. holy #$^%^ if you wake up my baby with that
and there he goes, crying again, i am going to
no i'm going to take a deep breath, i am going to survive this, he needs a nap, hell i need a nap,
but he needs one and even if i have to pry the lawn mower out of my neighbors hands i will make him stop in the hopes that it will some how make a difference and my baby will fall asleep and wake up happy well rested and still love me after this whole ordeal.