baby up at 5. nurse diaper change back to sleep. Its 6 now and I'm still awake. my brain wont shut off. partly because its a snow day today!! partly cause i'm still not over yesterday.
Yesterday was one of those please let this day end, i'm not sure i can make it through, pray cry scream till its over day. to be fair all the things taken separately were not that bad but pile them all together and i almost lost my mind. got stuck in my first traffic jam. jonah didn't take a morning nap, then didn't take an afternoon nap, then we got stuck in traffic for 1 1/2 hrs in traffic right about his dinner time. he screamed for the entire 1 1/2 hrs. that throaty piercing baby scream that is like a dagger in a mommy's heart. i couldn't pull over, i couldn't will him to stop, i just kept telling him i loved him and that i was sorry this was happening. finally i see peter's school and think thank goodness this is almost over, peter can take over driving and i can sit in the back with j and nurse him and get him to calm down, a dog darts into the road, i slam on the breaks. it was scary, it shook me. it was late, dark, i was spent. but peter did take over and it all worked out.
the dr says j has "soft voice box" which may or may not cause him to have a weird voice when he grows up. at least we have a cause of this strange sound that he makes. but what constitutes a weird voice. its sort of a subjective thing isn't it? i tried googling soft voice box but couldn't find it and don't remember what the scientific name of it is. we have to go to another dr to make sure the white nodes on his voice box are ok but at least when people now hear him make that noise and as us "is your baby ok" we have an answer.
Why can't drs offices be faster? there is just no reason i should get out of the office at 4:30 when my appt started at 1:10. J wanted to crawl and play on the fl but i wouldn't let him cause of germs and all and it was a long afternoon of trying to distract him from his true desire.
then i got lost trying to leave baltimore. My previous decree of refusing to drive in baltimore till we got some sort of gps device should have been followed.
once he was finally fed and bed and p and i were fed i tried to relax but just couldn't shut off. I eventually collapsed into bed but now that i can go back to bed and am still incredibly tired i can't seem to go back. maybe its cause i know how much more there is to do before we move in 11 days. lots more to clean from moldy apt.
trying to buy a car for me. it looks like its going to be a mini van folks. hopefully we can take advantage of the snow day today and go get it. its a few hrs away but its a pretty good deal so its worth the trip. low milage, pretty good price, owned by a little old couple. i don't really know if they were little, you get my point though right?
No comments:
Post a Comment