give me an S

today the stars aligned an for 15 wondrous minutes both of my children were asleep. They never nap at the same time so I was very skeptical about how long this would last but throwing caution to the wind I decided to shower!! That's right folks SHOWER!!! It had been so long since shower and I had hung out.

I was nervous that one would wake up crying and thereby wake the other up so it was a super speed shower but the water was hot and I am clean.

Its really nice to not smell like baby puke...............sadly I'm sure its not going to last long.

Oh and of course as soon as I got out of the blessed shower Miss Lu was awake :)

Confession:

Here it is! Are you all ready for my confession?

I'M NOT WONDER WOMAN!!

Its true, I'm not. Its taken me a while to come to this realization, maybe some of you have suspected it all along. But its just hitting me now. I am not wonder woman. I can't do it all, be all things to all people, save the world.

Of course Wonder woman might not be so wonderful either if she had 2 screaming kids in the back of that invisible airplane of hers. I mean there really is no way she's chasing a toddler in those heels, and while her bracelets may be fabulous for deflecting bullets they would most likely scratch a newborn every time she went to pick them up.

Don't get me wrong. I love Wonder Woman. She has blue hair for goodness sake, sure they say its black but we all know its blue. And I'm obviously a fan of her bright and colorful outfit. But I'm beginning to question whether even she could do it all. Maybe the reason she doesn't have kids or a spouse is because she felt that she had to make a choice between career and family and she chose career. After all saving the world is a big job and when your kid has an ear infection you can't really ask if the "bad guy" could try and destroy the world tomorrow cause you're needed at home.

So if Wonder Woman can't do it all and I can't do it all maybe I'm more like her than I thought.

Times when its ok to break the law

When you have a sleeping newborn in the car all rules should go out the window!! Parents should have a special flashing light or something so that we can alert other drivers etc that we will be:

1. running red lights and stop signs
2. ignoring all posted speed limits
3. ignore all passing rules

all in the name of keeping our adorable, sweet, amazing, screaming machines asleep in the back of the car.

I can't be the only parent who is willing to lead police on a high speed chase just to keep my bundle quiet!!

I think they're ganging up on me!

So obviously she came out!! 39 hrs of full on back labor. After 28 hrs at home I went to the hospital and yelled expletives when I was told that I would have to wait 15-20 min for my epidural. But I had been stalled at 8 cm for 5 hrs, hadn't eaten, slept, or sat down really (except for the birth tub) in over 24 hrs and was done, just done. the meds allowed me to get 3 hrs rest, then they turned it down, the contractions came back full force, I pushed for 3.5 hrs and beautiful Lulu entered the world.

And now there are two. Two wonderful, adorable children who I love dearly. But, but........ Lu wakes up at 4AM to eat and goes back to sleep around 4:45 and then J wakes up at 5AM for the day. So you see I'm waking up at 4AM every day and um, well that's not really a good time for me. Is it really asking too much to sleep in til say 6AM? Tha'ts all I'm asking for kids, 6. Any chance?

How long can this go on????

41 weeks and going strong? Maybe strongish is a better word, even though its not really a word.

Looked up the longest pregnancy on record. 375 days. over a yr being pregnant. yeah that's a really fucking long time. I mean good for that woman that she stuck it out but I'm just not that cool.

Yes I want a natural home birth etc, but there is no way I'm going to still be pregnant come september. Hell I can't believe I'm pregnant in July.

When I chose July 4th as my guess for when I was going to deliver I was more than half joking. But here we are 3 days away from July 4th and I may not even have this lady by then.

To be fair to my friends, family and husband, I'm not the nicest person right now. I'm not meaning to be argumentative or shall we say bitchy I'm just full of hormones and baby and there's no room left for my normally shiny disposition........................

Basically I should just be locked in a room with a significant amount of ice cream for the foreseeable future! And Chinese food, Ice cream and Chinese food!! Thats all I need!

Someday I'll give birth.....right???

Its a race between whether I'll have this baby before I run out of tums or I need to go out and buy a humungous bottle.

The freezer is stocked full of meals, baby clothes are washed, birth supplies are prepared and ready to go. All that needs to happen now is for her to make her grand entrance :)

fear, denial, maybe she's just never coming out!!

I think I'm in denial, maybe its a little bit of fear. I knew that with everyone telling me that this baby was going to come early meant that she wouldn't. I called July 4th and I'm sticking to it. But I'm also partially convinced that she's actually never coming out of me!!!

I've been pregnant since September, SEPTEMBER!!! do you realize how long that is!!!! I think she's just decided to stay inside. Maybe I want her to stay inside, the whole birth thing is a bit scary.

I planned a natural midwife attended birth with Jonah and that turned into a c-section 3 ring circus. So I really don't know what to expect with actually delivering a baby. I'm nervous, I'm scared, it is totally the unknown. I have complete faith that I can do it, I just don't have the faith that I'll be given the opportunity to do it. Will this birth be taken away from me as well?